Good things - I have finished my BigBang and sent off the first draft. Bri is coming to visit. I am off to see Clarence Darrow starring Kevin Spacey, yay! Bad things, PCH want to visit me urgently, suspect they are no longer gonna knock my house down which means I'll be stuck here. I'm back to work tomorrow, but the good side of this is that I only have 4 days then I am off for two weeks. If I'm stuck here I need to do so much to this house. New kitchen, bathroom, new floorboards, woodwork treatment, plastering, new carpets, new bed and the list goes on. Things to do. revise for my exam. Finish Scarred story. Yep.

It's been a long time, I have no excuses. I'm feeling a bit down, and a bit lonely to be honest. I've put on weight again which just adds to my discontent. My dad has COPD and has been really sickly and I've had to take a lot of responsibility on, while still working full time and doing an ou course. my mum had dementia and it's getting worse and she won't go to the doctors damn it. Things I want 1. Lose weight and get fit 2. Get a new job 3. A new house 4. Win the lottery Yeah if I won the lottery I'd be sorted! Enough moaning!

Rant

No one is watching this blog and that's the way I like it. I can tell it secrets and no one will respond. I have something wrong with my liver, it didn't worry me, I don't know why. I was sent for an ultrasound and they found 'shadows' so now I am worried. I'm waiting for an MRI, the doctor said it could be ulcers but even he sounded unsure. I googled liver cancer and I wish I hadn't. I have one of the late stage symptoms. I'm losing my memory, losing words and now I'm scared. They didn't find one shadow, but several so if it's cancer I'm buggered. Ironically I don't feel ill, but my memory is bad, really bad and it's only been in the last several months that it's been this way. If anyone does happen across this please pray for me, that it might be ulcers or something less worrying than cancer.

Bad blogger redux

So this blogging thing, not going so well. Time is a definite issue, I'm trying to do my ou course and I think that may well have been a mistake. I'm too old and my brain definitely doesn't take things in the way it once did. And essays, oh my God, I cannot motivate myself to do the essays, I hate it. well only 4 and half more essays to go and then I can say I've finished - if I don't throw in the towel. Things that are going slightly better - I'm back on the diet after a Christmas hiatus, and even though I ate everything that wasn't nailed down over the festive period I still managed to lose half a pound. I hope it wasn't delayed weight gain and when I go this week I find out that I've put on half a stone or something. Also I've been doing some writing and I'm quite pleased with that, it's not Shakespeare but it's better than I thought I was capable of. Anyhoo, I have an essay to finish so I'm off to play Zuma's revenge, what? I can procrastinate with the best of them!

It's Chriiiiiiissssstmaaaassss

So I'm really behind with my Christmas preparations, the ham has just gone into the slowcooker and I'm hoping it'll be OK, never cooked it this way before. Still got to wrap presents, and I haven't put my tree up yet. I have my first fic to post on the 3rd so that's exciting and scary, plus I had two beta's so I need to take a look at both of them and decide which one to post or most likely it'll be a hybrid of the two, so that's gonna take a bit of work. I also have an essay due on the tenth of January aaargghhh! Happy Christmas see you in the new year x

update

Well I'm so busy running round like a headless chicken. But here's some news. I have lost one stone five and a half pounds so go me. I'm only about 600ish words behind on my nano, so hopefully i can catch up over the weekend, I've finished my essay and I'm knackered. Now the bad things. My house is a tip so I need to do some serious cleaning, but even though I've finished my essay I'm behind on my reading so I need to catch up on that (for OU not pleasure). Plus I'm knackered, in fact I think I'm gonna go to bed now. Later! x

Bad Blogger continued

So I may not be very good at this blogging malarkey, but in my defence I am very busy. Working, OU stuff, nanowrimo and a bit of reading. I fI'm honest, I'm not spending enough time on the OU stuff but the nano is going well over 24k so I'm ahead of schedule...just. Got the new iphone 4s and I'm getting to know it at the mo. Work tomorrow and an essay to do, didn't do too well on my last one, only 50 so much work to do, hope to get it out of the way this week, if I can work out how to answer the question....wish me luck, I want to get at least 55 this time!